Quote of the Day (2012-04-30)

George: "Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."

Jerry: "She's like a beautiful Godzilla."

George: "And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-04-29)

Mrs. Richards: I've booked a room with a bath and a sea view for three nights. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: What?

Manuel: Qué?

Mrs. Richards: K?

Manuel: Sí.

Mrs. Richards: KC? KC? What are you trying to say?

Manuel: No, no no no. Qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: K. Watt?

Manuel: Sí: qué?, "what."

Mrs. Richards: C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Yes.

Mrs. Richards: Who is this C.K. Watt?

Manuel: Qué??

Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager?

Manuel: Oh, Manajer.

Mrs. Richards: He is.

Manuel: Ah, Mr. Fawlty.

Mrs. Richards: Oh, what are you talking about, you silly little man?



[to Polly]



Mrs. Richards: Girl, I start to ask this man about my room, and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.

Manuel: No, no no. "Fawwl-ty."

Mrs. Richards: Faulty? What's wrong with him?

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2012-04-28)

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2012-04-27)

Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these islands.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-04-26)

Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security Officer: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while...

[whispering]

Airport Security Officer: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

Narrator: I don't own...

[Officer waves Narrator off]

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2012-04-25)

Jim Hacker: "But we can't stab our partners in the back and spit in their face."

Bernard Woolley: "You can't stab anyone in the back, while you spit in their face."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-04-24)

Marge: Bart, would you like to say grace?

Bart: Yesum!

[Bart says grace in Latin]

Homer: What the hell was that?

Lisa: Bart's speaking Latin, the language of Plutarc.

Homer: [Homer looks blankly] Micky Mouse's dog?

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2012-04-23)

Carol: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2012-04-22)

Marty DiBergi: Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?

Derek Smalls: No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.

Marty DiBergi: So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?

Derek Smalls: Yeah.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-04-21)

Derek Smalls: We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-04-20)

Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-04-19)

And the Lord did grin.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-04-18)

Sally: And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2012-04-17)

Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2012-04-16)

Rebecca: You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This'll be the second one that I've cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2012-04-15)

Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles.

Old man: Don't be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago!

Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think.

Old man: Are you telling me I don't know my own brother!

Charles: No, no.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2012-04-14)

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!

Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."

Greg: Who didn't?

Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin

[Begins to cry]

Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...

Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!

Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...

Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!

Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...

Greg: Stop.

Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...

Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2012-04-13)

Larry Lipton: You promised you'd sit through a hockey game, and I promised I'd sit through the Wagner opera next week.

Carol Lipton: I know, I know...

Larry Lipton: I already bought the earplugs.

Source: Manhattan Murder Mystery

Quote of the Day (2012-04-12)

Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more!

Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2012-04-11)

Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2012-04-10)

Bedever: So, logically....

Peasant: If she...weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood.

Bedever: And therefore...

Peasant: ... A witch!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2012-04-09)

Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2012-04-08)

Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2012-04-06)

[C.D. is helping Chris with his first letter to Roxanne]

C.D. Bales: Let's take a look at that letter...

Chris McConnell: I think it's really good!

C.D. Bales: "Dear Roxanne, how's it going? Want to have a drink sometime? If you do, check this box."

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2012-04-05)

Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!

[they all stab themselves]

Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2012-04-04)

Jerry: "Every time he tries to make a move, something screws up. Like on their first date, they were on the couch, but she was sitting on his wrong side."

Elaine: "Wrong side?"

Jerry: "Yes, she was on his right side. He can't make a move with his left hand. Can't go left."

Elaine: "He can't go left?"

Jerry: "No. I'm leftie, can't go right. What about women? Do they go left or right?"

Elaine: "No, we just play defense."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2012-04-03)

Sir Humphrey: "Minister, you said you wanted the administration figures reduced, didn't you?"

Jim Hacker: "Yes."

Sir Humphrey: "So we reduced the figures."

Jim Hacker: "But only the figures, not the number of administrators."

Sir Humphrey: "Well of course not."

Jim Hacker: "Well that is not what I meant."

Sir Humphrey: "Well really Minister, one is not a mind-reader, is one? You said reduce the figures, so we reduced the figures."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2012-04-02)

It's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2012-04-01)

Sir Arnold: "But once they have accepted the principle that senior civil servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could loose dozens of our chaps, hundreds perhaps."

Sir Humphrey: "Thousands..."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister